thepretendme (thepretendme) wrote in dark_poetry,
thepretendme
thepretendme
dark_poetry

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED

tell me it's just a mistake
i got it all wrong
and you didn't die
so now you're much better
and the prognosis is good
and all the water from my eyes can stop
eyes which once squinted tough
could stay dry through thick and thin
but lately are the floodgates of unbearable pain
produced in such quantity
to grieve for you
to mourn for unfathomable loss
it's well-intended but unnecessary
because you only lost your cell phone
and your internet is down
so you couldn't be reached
you've been out of touch
way too long
but now you're back
and how's it going
and that guy you like
the one who seems afraid to touch you
you're going out with him this weekend
and you hope he gets a clue
and I'll give you my shitty old advice
which in its irrelevance you have no use for
but which you accept graciously
and i'll tell you some secrets
and you'll tell me some of yours
and we'll laugh
how awful we are
and I will just go back to my life
and get some work done
and get some sleep
instead of foundering in this terrible limbo
where i can't stand the sight of myself
because i know you're gone
and i'm still here
where i want to blow myself to bits
make myself disappear
turn off the light
go into the blackness
tell me i'm wrong
i don't need to think about that
forget i could destroy myself
stay away from the interstate
no need to throw my motorcycle under giant wheels
turn myself into a smear
because you're just fine
and it's all just a big mistake
and can i call you back later
when we both have time to talk
a little quality time
because we need to catch up?

when I call your number
I still hear your voice
but you won't return my calls
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